Stone Cold Normal

The last few weeks have really been tiring.  Here’s the update: Right now, we are 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant.  I’ve been having preterm contractions of varying intensities and at varying intervals for the last two weeks, but we have managed to keep Lily safe in my belly with a combination of hospital bed rest, home bed rest, and various medications to slow down the contractions and keep me from going into labor.  The goal is to keep her in until at least Sunday night so that:  1. Her lungs can further develop, and 2. My doctor and my high risk OB are back in town.  They are presently attending a conference in the Bahamas.  With all of Lily’s issues, I would rather she not be delivered by an on-call Dr. from another practice, no matter how competent he is. 

I’m at home now, and am intensely frustrated to not be able to do very much on modified bed rest.  I especially miss my time with Avery during the day.  I am so grateful to be out of the hospital, though.  Some of those exhausted and devoted mommies on the antepartum unit had been there for 12 weeks!  I can’t imagine being away from my family and lying in a bed in a hospital for 12 weeks.  Thinking about this makes our situation seem much more palatable. 

We are managing pretty well with some help.  Avery stays with her usual sitter during the day, and Mario has cancelled some work and revised his schedule at the church so that he can be home in the evenings. A good friend of ours is giving Katie a lot of extra attention and school help.   I’ve done all of the family meal planning from my reclining command post.   I tell Mario what to buy and give step by step instructions on how to prepare it.  I’ve found he has a lot more cooking skill than he has ever let on.  I’m usually the chef in our house, but he may be making dinner a little more often now that his secret is out.  With a little coaching, he can make a lot more than brownies and breakfast foods!  He really is such a multi-talented man.

Lots of people have offered to bring us a meal, but because we are doing OK for now, we’ve asked them to wait until after Lily comes, when we will undoubtedly need ALL of those dinners.  Thanks, friends!  We are so blessed to have you all in our lives, praying for us and giving us practical help during this time. 

Yesterday, when we saw our OB, she reminded us that Lily may still have significant problems.  She explained, again, that though Lily looks, as she always says, “stone cold normal” now, we still do not know what caused her cystic hygroma and her hydrops earlier in the pregnancy.  We may never know.  She may come out and actually be, medically “stone cold normal,” but we’ve been duly reminded that we do not have assurance of this.  Because we are lacking this worldly assurance, I am clinging to those things of which I can always be assured:  God loves us and has a plan for our lives.  This includes Lily, no matter how long, or short, or difficult, or simple her life might be. 

In my eyes, Lily could never be “stone cold normal.”  Her life is a miracle.  She was created and sustained in my womb by God despite what anyone predicted for her.  She has brought joy and depth to my life and the lives of countless others.  I would much rather she has this legacy, no matter what may lie ahead for her, than she be “normal.”  I do pray, though, that God would allow her physical and cognitive health as part of her testimony.  Thank you for continuing to pray for her with us.  I will keep you posted!