No Baby

We thought we were having a baby yesterday. We told everyone she was coming, repacked bags for each family member, made arrangements for Katie and for Avery, called family to tell them when to come, froze the meat in the fridge, and cancelled anything that was planned for the rest of the week. All indications at the OB’s office on Monday morning were that I had preeclampsia, and Lily needed to be delivered pretty quickly. We prayed, and worked really hard to wrap our brains around Lily coming yesterday. I felt pretty prepared and really had a peace about her arrival. It didn’t happen.


We checked in to the hospital, as instructed, at 8:45 After I was on the monitor, in a gown, with an IV, my last lab test came back. It was very unexpectedly normal. Last year, this would not have mattered. This year, there are strict guidelines in place for OBs about when they can and can’t deliver a baby. Very specific criteria have to be met to deliver a baby before 39 weeks, and that one test was part of the criteria.

While all the medical folks were chatting about what to do with me, I started having contractions again on the monitor – every 2-3 minutes. “Looks like you are going in to labor on your own!” they said. “You can’t go home like that, so we are just going to keep you here and see what you do.” Hours later – no labor. Just loads of preterm contractions. By about 7 pm, my OB, the high risk OB, and the high risk OB’s nurse all showed up to stare at me and talk about what to do. The high risk OB won, and we were put BACK on contraction slowing meds, and told we could go home if Lily and I did OK on overnight monitoring. I thanked them for their watchful and attentive care, nodded, and waved as the forum walked out the door. Then, I had a meltdown. A two year old, irrational, snot dripping, whiney, unlady-like, and very, very therapeutic meltdown. It went something like this:

Me: I hate it here. It’s hot. This bed is awful. I want my own bed! I hate being connected to all these wires and tubes! I miss Avery. I HATE hospitals! I hate needles! I feel this needle in my arm and it’s stupid that I have to have it when we aren’t having a baby. It’s stupid that I have to be here at all! I want to go home!

Mario: Do you want me to see if they could bring you a fan, sweetie?

Me: I hate fans! They dry out my contacts and make my skin itch. I am gross. I am huge, and puffy, and sweaty, and dirty, and gross, and I want to go home. I can’t have a baby. What was I thinking? I can’t deal with the pain. I’m a wimp. Wimps shouldn’t be allowed to have babies………..

Poor Mario

I did eventually calm down. I talked to the nurse, who had heard the same tirade, verbatim, about 15,000 times and brought me a fan and some Tylenol. I prayed. Mario prayed, and quit speaking since he wasn’t making much headway. I think we slept a combined total of 4 hours.

My OB came in at 7 am and told us to go home. As long as my pressure stays down, I am off of bed rest, and just on “rest.” She advised us to go out for dinner tonight. It’s actually my birthday.

Though it’s driving both Mario and I nuts to be on this rollercoaster, we know that we are not the first riders. We also know that God knows better than anyone else when Lily should come. Feel free to keep reminding me of this when I start to forget and think that I know best.

I’m so sorry we got everyone excited that she was coming yesterday- again. The outpouring of support was so sweet. We are so, so blessed to have the friends and family we do. I can’t wait for everyone to meet Lily and Lily to experience all the love that is waiting to be shown her. I will definitely keep you posted about how GOD’s plan for her birth unfolds.