Almost Time!

I've not posted in a while because there has really not been any news to impart, but actually, not having anything to say IS news!  Lily is still tucked away at almost 39 weeks, and we've not been back to the hospital in two weeks.  I hope to stay away till Lily's scheduled arrival this Friday morning. I've followed orders and stayed on rest (lounging on the couch and not going anywhere) every day, and it has slowed the contractions and kept my blood pressure at least out of the danger zone. Most weekdays, Mario has gone to work, Avery has spent at least part of the day with our sitter, Katie has  been at school and riding, and I have watched a lot of HGTV.  I didn't think anyone would be interested in g what I learned from Design on a Dime or Candice Tells All.   The shows did  inspire some serious nesting, so my poor, sweet, ever-accommodating husband has painted, organized, assembled, labeled, and cleaned for hours and without a word of complaint.  His biggest accomplishment was re-upholstering my grandmother's bench, which was covered in purple flame stitch fabric. It's hanging out inside the front door now, sporting a very current beige, chocolate, and blue/green suzani  pattern.  I'm pretty proud of this project, because the cost was less than $10. 

My good friend Jenn asked yesterday how I was feeling. My response was "puffy, anxious, hopeful, excited, nervous, tired, and thankful.".  Probably more than she bargained for, but I was her roommate long ago, so she knows my  annoying tendency toward hyper-verbose descriptions of feelings. No one will ever catch me saying "fine," which is NOT a feeling. 
Most of my remaining anxiety is about the actual c-section. I hate hospitals, needles, beeping noises, bright lights, and drugs.  More on the history of that another time.  I have a combination of peace and excitement about meeting Lily. Even the Dr's constant reminders that something may still be very wrong haven't phased me lately. I KNOW God has a plan for Lily. He tells me so every time she kicks, when she gets the hiccups in my belly, and each week when I hear her sweet heartbeat. This week, we got one final 3-D peek of her curled up inside me. She has huge, chunky cheeks and is almost 8 lbs!  In one picture, she was winking at us, one eye open and one shut. She almost looked mischievous.  
Please pray for Lily and me, and for the doctors at St Luke's and TX Children's this Friday morning.  We have so much to be thankful for this season, including your faithful prayers for us. 

No Baby

We thought we were having a baby yesterday. We told everyone she was coming, repacked bags for each family member, made arrangements for Katie and for Avery, called family to tell them when to come, froze the meat in the fridge, and cancelled anything that was planned for the rest of the week. All indications at the OB’s office on Monday morning were that I had preeclampsia, and Lily needed to be delivered pretty quickly. We prayed, and worked really hard to wrap our brains around Lily coming yesterday. I felt pretty prepared and really had a peace about her arrival. It didn’t happen.


We checked in to the hospital, as instructed, at 8:45 After I was on the monitor, in a gown, with an IV, my last lab test came back. It was very unexpectedly normal. Last year, this would not have mattered. This year, there are strict guidelines in place for OBs about when they can and can’t deliver a baby. Very specific criteria have to be met to deliver a baby before 39 weeks, and that one test was part of the criteria.

While all the medical folks were chatting about what to do with me, I started having contractions again on the monitor – every 2-3 minutes. “Looks like you are going in to labor on your own!” they said. “You can’t go home like that, so we are just going to keep you here and see what you do.” Hours later – no labor. Just loads of preterm contractions. By about 7 pm, my OB, the high risk OB, and the high risk OB’s nurse all showed up to stare at me and talk about what to do. The high risk OB won, and we were put BACK on contraction slowing meds, and told we could go home if Lily and I did OK on overnight monitoring. I thanked them for their watchful and attentive care, nodded, and waved as the forum walked out the door. Then, I had a meltdown. A two year old, irrational, snot dripping, whiney, unlady-like, and very, very therapeutic meltdown. It went something like this:

Me: I hate it here. It’s hot. This bed is awful. I want my own bed! I hate being connected to all these wires and tubes! I miss Avery. I HATE hospitals! I hate needles! I feel this needle in my arm and it’s stupid that I have to have it when we aren’t having a baby. It’s stupid that I have to be here at all! I want to go home!

Mario: Do you want me to see if they could bring you a fan, sweetie?

Me: I hate fans! They dry out my contacts and make my skin itch. I am gross. I am huge, and puffy, and sweaty, and dirty, and gross, and I want to go home. I can’t have a baby. What was I thinking? I can’t deal with the pain. I’m a wimp. Wimps shouldn’t be allowed to have babies………..

Poor Mario

I did eventually calm down. I talked to the nurse, who had heard the same tirade, verbatim, about 15,000 times and brought me a fan and some Tylenol. I prayed. Mario prayed, and quit speaking since he wasn’t making much headway. I think we slept a combined total of 4 hours.

My OB came in at 7 am and told us to go home. As long as my pressure stays down, I am off of bed rest, and just on “rest.” She advised us to go out for dinner tonight. It’s actually my birthday.

Though it’s driving both Mario and I nuts to be on this rollercoaster, we know that we are not the first riders. We also know that God knows better than anyone else when Lily should come. Feel free to keep reminding me of this when I start to forget and think that I know best.

I’m so sorry we got everyone excited that she was coming yesterday- again. The outpouring of support was so sweet. We are so, so blessed to have the friends and family we do. I can’t wait for everyone to meet Lily and Lily to experience all the love that is waiting to be shown her. I will definitely keep you posted about how GOD’s plan for her birth unfolds.

Happy Halloween!

Despite being nervous about Lily coming tomorrow, and feeling a little icky with preeclampsia, we had such a great night.  Our sweet neighbors invited us to come over with the rest of the block and eat hot dogs and chili.  After dinner, the husbands took the children trick-or-treating, and the wives sat at the end of the cul-de-sac passing out candy and chatting.  We love, love, love our street and our neighbors.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Tomorrow?

We very likely will meet Lily tomorrow!  We went to the OB this morning, and I am SO glad that she and my high risk doc are back in town.  I made it through the whole week without them last week, but started not feeling right yesterday.  My blood pressure started going up, I was seeing spots, and I looked puffier than I ever remember looking pregnant.  My OB saw me and said  I either already have preeclampsia or it is setting in and ordered a test that takes 24 hours to assess how bad it is.  We talked her into letting us go home for the time being, and check in to the hospital tomorrow morning unless things take a turn for the worse.  I so wanted to see Avery in her costume.  I am seeming to get worse, but not bad enough yet to warrant going in. 

My OB told us it is very, very likely Lily is coming tomorrow.  She took me off all of the contraction stopping meds, and also, they won't let me try to carry her longer with preeclampsia.  It's just too risky.  We are praying we make it through the night.  I'm anxious and excited.  Lily is still about a half week shy of full term, but we got a lot further than we did with Avery and the preeclampsia I had with her.  I pray Lily arrives truly having defied all the odds - completely without any defect - internal or external.  Please pray with us for this.

Documenting

In late September, we had some really special photos taken.  We had settled into the house, finished all the renovations our budget would allow (plus some unexpected ones), and generally calmed down.  This left me lots of time and mental space to think about Lily coming.  Everything was looking fabulous on her ultrasounds, and I know God is capable of delivering to us a perfectly healthy baby despite all the early indications that she is very sick, but I felt a need to do some preparing.  I wanted to be sure that no matter what the outcome of her birth, we had documentation of her life inside me and the joy she has brought us. 

Our good friend, Veronica, who works at Early Childhood Intervention, and has been Avery’s developmental specialist since birth, put us in touch with an amazing woman.  Jennifer Maler (Red Balloon Photography) gladly took on the task of documenting Lily’s life and did so with compassion, sympathy, and an incredible ability to capture emotion.  She also realized, more than I did, the need to include Mario and Avery in many of these photos rather than just take shots of my humungous tummy.  She even snuck in a few candid pictures of Avery that are now some of our favorite photos.  I regret that we didn’t have Katie with us so she could be in them too. 

I’m still at home on modified bed rest, and so thankful to have made it almost another full week with Lily tucked safely inside.  My Dr. will be back Sunday and I see her Monday morning.  The plan is that she will be taking me off all my contraction stopping meds, and as soon as Lily tells us it’s time, we will let her come on out via c-section.  Monday is Halloween, and Wednesday is my birthday, so Tuesday would be nice, but we would be happy to meet her any day of the week.  I hope and pray that we will soon be sharing tons of new baby pics of Lily, so I want to make sure we get these precious photos shared now:

Stone Cold Normal

The last few weeks have really been tiring.  Here’s the update: Right now, we are 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant.  I’ve been having preterm contractions of varying intensities and at varying intervals for the last two weeks, but we have managed to keep Lily safe in my belly with a combination of hospital bed rest, home bed rest, and various medications to slow down the contractions and keep me from going into labor.  The goal is to keep her in until at least Sunday night so that:  1. Her lungs can further develop, and 2. My doctor and my high risk OB are back in town.  They are presently attending a conference in the Bahamas.  With all of Lily’s issues, I would rather she not be delivered by an on-call Dr. from another practice, no matter how competent he is. 

I’m at home now, and am intensely frustrated to not be able to do very much on modified bed rest.  I especially miss my time with Avery during the day.  I am so grateful to be out of the hospital, though.  Some of those exhausted and devoted mommies on the antepartum unit had been there for 12 weeks!  I can’t imagine being away from my family and lying in a bed in a hospital for 12 weeks.  Thinking about this makes our situation seem much more palatable. 

We are managing pretty well with some help.  Avery stays with her usual sitter during the day, and Mario has cancelled some work and revised his schedule at the church so that he can be home in the evenings. A good friend of ours is giving Katie a lot of extra attention and school help.   I’ve done all of the family meal planning from my reclining command post.   I tell Mario what to buy and give step by step instructions on how to prepare it.  I’ve found he has a lot more cooking skill than he has ever let on.  I’m usually the chef in our house, but he may be making dinner a little more often now that his secret is out.  With a little coaching, he can make a lot more than brownies and breakfast foods!  He really is such a multi-talented man.

Lots of people have offered to bring us a meal, but because we are doing OK for now, we’ve asked them to wait until after Lily comes, when we will undoubtedly need ALL of those dinners.  Thanks, friends!  We are so blessed to have you all in our lives, praying for us and giving us practical help during this time. 

Yesterday, when we saw our OB, she reminded us that Lily may still have significant problems.  She explained, again, that though Lily looks, as she always says, “stone cold normal” now, we still do not know what caused her cystic hygroma and her hydrops earlier in the pregnancy.  We may never know.  She may come out and actually be, medically “stone cold normal,” but we’ve been duly reminded that we do not have assurance of this.  Because we are lacking this worldly assurance, I am clinging to those things of which I can always be assured:  God loves us and has a plan for our lives.  This includes Lily, no matter how long, or short, or difficult, or simple her life might be. 

In my eyes, Lily could never be “stone cold normal.”  Her life is a miracle.  She was created and sustained in my womb by God despite what anyone predicted for her.  She has brought joy and depth to my life and the lives of countless others.  I would much rather she has this legacy, no matter what may lie ahead for her, than she be “normal.”  I do pray, though, that God would allow her physical and cognitive health as part of her testimony.  Thank you for continuing to pray for her with us.  I will keep you posted!

Feeling Funny

I’ve been meaning to post and share that my blood pressure has been great.  In fact, it started going down almost as soon as I published the last post.  Thanks, thanks, thanks for the prayers.  We have some great prayer warriors out there. 

Today, we spent a good portion of the day in labor and delivery.  We were not on a tour.  I started feeling funny last night, but thought it was the chili I had made, because Mario felt a little funny too.  By about 2 am, I was complaining that my stomach felt like it was cramping and I wondered a little if this could be what contractions feel like.  I didn’t have them with Avery at all before her C-Section.  They stopped early this morning, so I did two loads of laundry, baked a chicken, and played baby doll with Avery.  We’re working on not stabbing the baby in the eye with the toy bottle.  The weird feelings started up again a few hours later, and by the time I put Avery down for nap at noon, I could tell that something really might be wrong.  I’d been trying to tell myself it wasn’t for over half a day.   I don’t know why I always try to talk myself out of things being really wrong. I don’t think this way often, and I usually am right to begin with.

The doctor’s office was closed for lunch, so I decided to put sleeping Avery in the car and head that direction since it’s a 30 minute drive and they would be back in by the time I arrived.  Mario had a lunch break and said he could meet me there.  I assumed I would get checked out, told I was imagining things, and sent home.  Nope.  We landed in labor and delivery observation at Women’s Hospital.  The funny feelings were big contractions that, when we arrived there, were about 6 minutes apart, and within a half hour, were 3-5 minutes apart.  I don’t know if seeing them on a screen made them feel worse, or they actually got stronger, but I was not comfortable.  Gentle, nurturing Mario patted me and asked if I would like to squeeze his hand.  I had never, until that moment, understood why women in labor in movies always sound so angry.  I told Mario that I did not want to squeeze his hand;  I wanted to kick him.  I would have said other things, but Avery was still there.  My sweet friend Heather picked her up a few minutes later, and I got to quit fake smiling and gritting my teeth.  And then the first contraction-stopping injection (yes, first) kicked in.  I felt like I was having a contraction, but that my stomach was full of fuzzy caterpillars, or sliced kiwi, or maybe moth balls.  I asked the nurse if this was normal, and she assured me that though she had never heard it described that way, it was completely normal.  I wasn’t able to be so creatively descriptive with the second shot.  More caterpillars, but my heart also started beating a million (120) beats per minute.  I’ve never experienced a panic attack, but I now know that all that good self- talk I preach about is really pretty useless at that moment.  God talk works a lot better.  I did a lot of talking to God.  I asked him to please keep Lily safe, to quiet my heart, remove the caterpillars, and spare me the dreaded third shot with which I was being threatened.  He did.  In fact, we didn’t see another contraction on the screen that hour, and were sent home. 

We’re home now.  Avery is wearing Mario’s baseball cap and ripping up a catalogue; I’ve sent Mario back to the store for the second time to grab yet another item I forgot earlier this week, and Katie is at a football game with some friends of ours. 

I’m always thrilled when God shows off what He can do in our lives and I get to be part of it, but I’d like to not repeat the events of this particular day.  Could you please talk to God for us?  Ask him to quiet my heart, keep Lily safe, and let us stay home a few weeks longer? 

Little Scare

We are not at church this morning.  Mario is working, and Avery and I are at home.  I really long to be there listening to a great Bible Study lesson and sermon, singing praises, and fellowshipping with friends, but we’re having a little scare.  My blood pressure has shot up pretty suddenly and I’m having a hard time keeping it down despite being on meds for it. It’s not in the danger zone yet, but it’s creeping pretty close.   I noticed it because I wasn’t feeling quite right yesterday, and because we are supposed to be watching diligently  for any rise in blood pressure.  When I was pregnant with Avery, it started really rising at about 30 weeks, and I was put on bed rest.  The situation got dangerous enough for both of us that they had to deliver her at 35 weeks.  The risk for having preeclampsia a second time is pretty substantial, so we have been watching.  Pre-e is a condition that only occurs in pregnant women after 20 weeks of pregnancy.  The exact cause is unclear, but it is characterized by high blood pressure and swelling that can lead to seizures, problems with the mommy's liver and kidneys, and lack of nutrition to the baby.  The standard care is bed rest and blood pressure medication, but the only cure is to deliver the baby.   We want Lily to have every possible advantage given all of her potential challenges, and coming early would not be what’s best for her.  Please, please pray that this is not the start of preeclampsia, and that at my Dr. apt tomorrow afternoon, we are able to find a way to keep me pregnant quite a while longer. 

I also seem to be coming down with a cold.  I’ve had a nasty cough keeping me up at night for the past two nights, and today I have a sore throat and slightly stuffy nose.  Avery is sneezing, so I’m sure I won’t be alone in my discomfort. 

I’m worried.  I know I shouldn’t be.  I know God has it all under control.  I mean really, if He can handle major malformations and nearly non-existent chances of Lily surviving, what’s some blood pressure and a silly cold?  I wish I could get my heart caught up with my brain on this.  I think it’s going to take some serious prayer time.  I keep chasing “What ifs.”  What if I have to go on bed rest?  How will I take care of Avery?  What if Lily comes early and we have a long NICU stay like we did with Avery?  How can we give both babies the attention they need?  I always want to have a plan, and some of these problems don’t leave us with many solutions.  We don’t have family anywhere nearby who could come help out.  Again, I need to really, fully know that God does have a plan for all of this that will bring glory to Him, even if I have no idea what that plan looks like or how we fit in. 

Please pray for Lily’s and my health, and for peace, increased faith, and continued joy in this journey for Mario and me. 

She Has a Name!

I’ve been so longing to blog.  I write blog posts in my head all the time, especially while I’m in the car or having trouble sleeping at night, but this is the first time I’ve actually gotten to it in months.  It would take a week’s worth of writing  to catch up on all we have had going on, so I will try to summarize briefly before we forge ahead on the next chapter:

We closed on our old house, but couldn’t close on the new one as anticipated, so were itinerant for over a week.  It was a great adventure and we were so blessed to be able to stay with sweet friends.  Getting to connect with them was actually a huge blessing for us, so we’re thankful for our stint of homelessness.  We moved in and commenced renovating.  We’ve replaced most of the flooring, painted most of the interior, redone a powder room, and cleared a pretty overgrown backyard where we uncovered a beautiful, fruitful lemon tree.  We LOVE our new house.  It really is starting to feel like home. 

I’m 32 weeks pregnant today and for 32 weeks pregnant, I feel great.  I’m tired and puffy and achy, but that’s what I signed up for, so I can’t complain (except to Mario).  Sweet baby Arredondo has continued to grow right on track.  There is nothing anatomically wrong with her that is visible on ultrasound, despite all of the dire predictions we had from numerous physicians and other specialists in the beginning.  We continue to be amazed at what God is doing in her life and in ours.  Both our high risk and our regular OB have told us repeatedly that we can’t know if she will have any lasting problems until we deliver, so we do  still need your prayers.  Specifically, could you please pray:

1.       About the cord insertion issue that poses risk to both the baby and me. 

2.       That  I don’t develop preeclampsia like I did with Avery.

3.       That God will continue to heal this baby of any remaining infirmities.

4.       That God will continue to give us peace and allow us to be joyful in this time. 

5.       That we will not go into labor or have any complications during the last week in October, when BOTH of my doctors will be out of the country at the same time.

Finally, she does have a name.  This little miracle girl, who is so, so precious to us, is named Lillian Joy Arredondo.  Lily has brought us so much joy already, that we have no doubt she will be one of the greatest joys in our life for all our years ahead.  Just think of the testimony Lily already has before her birth!  God delivered her from survival odds of 1 in 3000, healed her body of serious malformations, drew together a community of friends and family in prayer and support, and showed so many people what a powerful, merciful, mighty God He is.  With less than two months until we meet Lily, we will continue to wait in prayer and in joyful anticipation of all God has in store.  I take so much comfort in knowing that you, who are reading this, are waiting with us and lifting us up in prayer.  Thank you. 

Clean Hearts and Carpet

Finally!  A few minutes to write.  We’ve been so busy finalizing house contracts, packing, hiring contractors, working, taking care of children, and trying to get a few hours of sleep each night, that I haven’t been able to sit at the computer for more than 10 minutes at a time.  The great thing about all this busy-ness, though, is that none of it has involved the new baby!  She is doing so well that for the first time during this pregnancy, I did not have to go to the Dr. this week!  A whole week without a Dr. appointment of any kind!  I’ve kept checking my schedule to make sure I’m not missing something, but it’s true! 

One of the things that have kept us busy is carpet.  All of the carpet in the new house has to be replaced.  I don’t mean I would like to have pretty, fluffy new carpet.  I mean it HAS to be replaced.  The light cream-colored, builder’s grade, matted pile of stained fuzz that is currently somewhat adhered to the ground has endured over a decade of small children, various pets, and tenants.  If you recall from an earlier post, I get a little obsessive about data and making decisions.  I’ve found the world of carpet to be pretty overwhelming given these cognitive and emotional challenges.  Usually, I pray about big decisions, and I know God cares even about the small stuff, but I felt a little silly asking for clarity about choosing frieze or plush.  I won’t bore you with the whole, two week long elimination process, but want to share about how we arrived at a final decision.  Mario, by the way, was VERY patient, and participated when I needed him to. 

Our main criteria for carpet were stain resistance, durability, impact on our health, and environmental friendliness.  I can’t tell you how grateful we are for our carpet salesman.  If you live in our area and are in the market for new flooring or counters, PLEASE visit Tom at Five Star Floors.  I don’t think I’ve ever met someone in sales so patient, honest, and knowledgeable.  We ended up choosing to get a shorter stranded frieze in a medium weight with a dense, moisture backed, no VOC pad.  Unfortunately, there were two in our budget that met these criteria.  One was a nylon product by Shaw, and one made of a newer material called Smartstrand by Mohawk.  After I finished the 150 page book on carpet buying, I started in on online reviews.  I saw absolutely no complaints about the Smartstrand, and few about the Anso Nylon.  The ones I did see about the nylon all talked about it “fuzzing” on top when it’s vacuumed with a beater bar (the bristly thing that rotates on the bottom of the vacuum).  This was concerning because we really need all the help we can get getting dirt out of carpet to protect Mario’s allergic nose, and I would hate to have to use a suction only vacuum. 

One hour before we had to have our final choice to Tom, I decided we should run tests of our own.  We had handy a sample of both carpets (to keep).  We started with staining trials.  Smartstrand is supposed to be inherently stain resistant.  The nature of the fiber is to resist staining.  The Anso  Nylon’s surface is treated with a stain resistant chemical.   First, we poured grape juice over a corner of each and let it sit for a few minutes before blotting it up and wiping it with a damp cloth.  This got most of it out on both carpets, but for good measure, we sprayed a bleach solution on top of each stain.  The nylon immediately turned a shade of orange I’ve previously only seen on misguided old lady hair dye jobs.  The Smartstrand showed absolutely nothing.  Next, we drew on a corner of each carpet with a blue Sharpie marker.  Yes, we actually do have Sharpie marker stains on our current carpet.  With mild detergent and water, the Smartstrand came clean, and the nylon about 50% clean.  Because we had two corners left, I felt a need to come up with two more stains.  I would like to have tried vomit, but I’m way past that stage of my pregnancy, so we opted for black mascara and pink lipgloss, both of which were impossible to remove from the nylon.  The mascara came out of the Smartstrand, but a very small bit of the lipstick was stubborn.

 The Smartstrand was the CLEAR winner for stain resistance, so we moved to the vacuum test.  We put each carpet sample on the floor and set our beater bar to a medium height.  We ran the vacuum over the center (dry) section of both samples for about 5 minutes.  The results were SHOCKING.  The Smartstrand showed a tiny bit of fuzzing on top.  The nylon was a tangled, chewed up mess that did not even resemble frieze carpet.  Had it been hair, it would have had to have been cut off.  It was completely irreparable.  Though I know that the Anso Nylon is really a quality product, and carpet does not take this kind of abuse on a daily basis, I don’t think I need to tell you which one we chose. 

This morning, when I was praying, my mind wandered to the carpet, but not in a distracted, obsessive kind of way.  I was thinking about the amazing technology that would allow the Smartstrand to be exposed to such filth and go through such a beating, and come out looking new and clean.  I was pretty well in awe of this until I realized that this “technology” has been around for a long, long time.  It would take the rest of my blogging days to share all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made that have exposed me to filth and beaten down my soul.  I know that in my selfishness, I’ve done some damage to other hearts as well.  So how am I able to be joyful, and why don’t I feel, in my obsessiveness, a need to scrub until I reach the grime in my heart?  How do I know that despite all of my wrongdoing, I will someday be in heaven with God?   Because I am dyed through and through with Smartstrand!  OK, not Smartstrand, but I have died.  The old me became new the day I prayed and accepted Jesus as my Savior, and the renewing process is continual.  The technology has permeated every fiber of my existence and it is permanent.  He sees me like you and I see the sample of Smartstrand carpet: pure.  The choice, in this case, is easy.  No need to research and read reviews, though the testimonies you would gather from many “satisfied customers” are pretty impressive.  If you want to experience the cleansing, healing, and protective power of Jesus, you need only believe that He died for you and your sin on the cross, and ask him to live in your heart.  Tell him that you have sinned, that you are dirty like the carpet, and ask his forgiveness.  You will be inherently changed forever. 

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but shall have eternal life.  John 3:16

If  you confess with your mouth “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  Romans 10:9